Mannequins

Have you ever asked yourself "What is the purpose of a Mannequin?" I have. One idea I had is that mannequins are cheaper than hiring humans to stand in store windows. Although, in this economy I bet we could find some pretty cheap labor to take the job. That would make the mall fun again.

ALICE: Judy got fired for sneezing??

JANE: That was the excuse. I think it was for knocking the nuts off the teenager who took a leak on her shoe.

If the stores ever decide to go the route of human displays, I think I’d be good at being a mannequin. I’d at least apply for the job. And if I didn’t get hired, you’d find me selling popcorn to the window spectators.

Do you think mannequins actually pull in more customers than, say, hangers? I’m usually more drawn to new outfits displayed on hangers than the ones draped over female mannequins who seem to be perpetually cold in the chest region. But maybe that’s because I’m not a guy.

Upon googling "Mannequin," I learned that in addition to displaying clothing, in the 1950s mannequins were also used to help illustrate the effects of nuclear weapons on humans.

"BOOM!"

HANK: Whoa! Where did little Susie go?

ALFRED: That was awesome. I’ll take twenty. Of the weapons, not those big dolls.

Personally, I find mannequins creepy. Especially when they’re naked. And especially, especially when I see a store employee awkwardly attempting to dress the naked mannequins.

Which brings me to my inspiration for writing this blog:

What's this? A family out car shopping? Not quite. But anyone who has ever exited the 101 Fwy at Lankershim in LA might recognize these beauties.

Remember that car dealership that seems perpetually busy? Even at 2am? Yes! That’s the one.

My friend from out of town noticed it first, “What’s up with all the dolls at that car dealership?” Although I didn’t know what she was talking about at the time, I soon learned. I suppose it’s all marketing, and in the grand scheme it probably works. I mean, it’s enough to make me talk about it in a blog. Except I don’t really care about the mannequins themselves. They’re weird, but that doesn’t matter.

What I DO actually care about are the pranks being pulled on the dealership.

One morning, I happened to glance at the dealership while driving past. I was expecting a little treat simply by seeing the amazing mannequins themselves, but instead I got an entire smorgasbord. There, leaning over, was a car salesman awkwardly pulling up the pants on the parents of a little mannequin family. I don’t know if he’d already pulled up the kid’s pants, or if the prankster wanted to leave the child out of the potential sexual harassment case. In any case, I found this random, awkward, possibly embarrassing moment to be a lovely way to start my day.

I wonder if part of the salesmen job description reads: "Must re-dress mannequins as needed."

That's one thing I'd never expect to do while selling cars. But then again, life is full of surprises. Nothing is ever as it seems, right?

For instance, this looks like two dude mannequins. One is a socially awkward cross-dresser, the other perhaps failed shop class.

Expect the unexpected, folks. Especially if you're a car salesperson.

And don't forget to honk hello to all my friends at the dealership. They're so friendly even the guy without a hand is waving.