Snowflake
…Chicago.
Static
…Cell phone.
Bird
...Don’t flip me off.
Snuggie
…Excuse you.
Imagine what you would have done if, say, three years ago someone asked, “Hey, do you want a Snuggie?”
…Excuse you.
Imagine what you would have done if, say, three years ago someone asked, “Hey, do you want a Snuggie?”
Depending on who was doing the asking might have greatly altered your response, but I would have run away. Today, most people would probably respond with something like, “Thanks, but I already have one! Aren’t they ah-MAZing??”
For anyone lucky enough to dodge this trend that swept the nation and who DOESN’T know what a Snuggie is…
It's basically my ideal daily wardrobe.I only say ideal because I don’t actually own a Snuggie. Well, that, and the fact that Snuggies don’t really cover you backside doesn’t help things either. However, I have encountered a Snuggie.
Setting: My bro’s living room in Denver – Late night – (and it ain’t summer)
We’re sitting on the couch watching the glorious light box. The dogs breeze back into the house bringing with them the cold air from outside. Shivering, I reach for a blanket from the mound my bro has piled on the end of the couch. I see a fleece pink corner sticking out and pull. The pink feels thinner than I was expecting, but I continue regardless. I pull again, and a few more inches give way but this is going to be trickier than I’d hoped. I keep pulling and before I know it all the other blankets are on the floor and I’m left holding a crumpled mess of pink static cling.
You’d think I’d have felt victorious, but instead I was disappointed. (Feel free to psycho-analyze why I didn’t just take the blanket on top of the pile and let me know what you find). I’d made a mess and for what? The bright color, the soft fleece? It sure wasn’t the warmth because this sucker was thin. I tried to shake out the blanket but something was wrong… it was all stuck together! I’ve experienced my fair share of static cling, but this was ridiculous.
:::::::::: shaking the blanket :::::::::::::
“Wait, why isn’t this square? Are these pockets? What is going on here? All I wanted was a stupid blanket!”
:::::::::: shaking the blanket :::::::::::::
“Wait, why isn’t this square? Are these pockets? What is going on here? All I wanted was a stupid blanket!”
Just then, the show we were watching came back from commercial break. No more time for this blanket business when House is about to leave the insane asylum! So I smushed myself as small as possible and tugged the pink, er, thing, over as much of my legs as I could and turned my brain switch back off to watch more TV (yes, some might argue it was never on in the first place).
In summary: I couldn’t figure out why the pink-ness was so stuck together and I gave up because this awkward blanket caused me to feel claustrophobic and frustrated.
It wasn’t until later when my sister-in-law was saying her mother bought her a crazy pink Snuggie that I realized what I’d been dealing with.
Genius, I know.
Now, I’m all about inventing cool new things, but did the blanket really need to be improved upon?
NO. Absolutely NOT. The blanket was perfect, but because someone was smart enough to sew in some arm holes (and Velcro?), we now have a product called a Snuggie. Or The Universal Blanket. Or, my personal favorite, The Slanket.
I always wish I’d thought of the Post-It note, but somehow it doesn’t bother me that I didn’t dream up the reason to have parties like this one:
Although I guess they do look pretty happy. Maybe the secret to life is to use a lot of fabric softener.
